I spotted this great Banksy sculpture in Bristol at the end of my first year as a Deputy Headteacher. It's in the museum opposite Bristol University's Graduate School of Education where 20 years ago I completed my PGCE. I always think of my teacher training days when I'm back in Bristol. Walking around the vibrant city always reminds me of positive humour and the can do attitude I always see there. It was also Pride weekend so even more colour and sparkle than usual.
The sculpture caught my attention and as I stood looking at it I realised that I felt like the paint pot Angel. There have been roles in my career I have loved and clung on to. I loved being Head of Faculty leading my suite of subjects with the passion I held from my degree days. Being solely responsible for progress, curriculum, teaching standards and behaviour was my dream job during my PGCE. I was able to be my authentic self. So moving into senior leadership from middle leadership wasn't much different. Having a whole school responsibility as an assistant Headteacher still has autonomy and accountability within a tight remit. So why, a year in to deputy headship did I feel like this statue?
As Deputy Headteacher I have felt the expectation of others to stand firm in the face of whatever adversity happens during the school year, to be a non-waivering holder of School vision/values and to swoop in to any situation to create a positive outcome. These expectations could be my own lens on my year but how I have dealt with it has been telling. With the perceived expectations I have self censored a lot this year. It really would not be helpful to be vocally oppositional when the executive Headteacher is not in the building the role of deputy is to ensure the school runs per their wishes. Opposition behind closed doors is a new learning curve for me, as a second in department I was that annoying nay sayer all the time. At times, though, it has felt exhausting. Life behind the paint pot has hidden my authentic voice. In year 2 I need to find a balance of voicing disagreement in a positive assertive way.
I wondered if I would be able to be a deputy Headteacher with a portfolio of everything I have avoided my entire career. It has amazed me how quickly you can learn new skills and become proficient. Yes there is a difference between proficiency and enjoying your work. I have enjoyed the professional challenge. There is a massive difference between working with spreadsheets and classrooms to working with social services, the police and family lives. Emotional resilience beyond the classroom has been a steep learning curve. I have been amazed by the wide ranging complex
cases schools are expected to lead on. Teaching qualifications and leadership experience is different to social care experience.
When I was at school we all did a career questionnaire. My joint 2 top career paths the software came up with were Prison Governor and Lawyer. Being responsible for behaviour this career pathway memory kept springing to mind this year. Faced with piles of statements can feel like making a case for and against different levels of sanctions. Sitting on local in year fair access panel meetings listening to school leaders putting forward behaviour cases has reminded me that all school leaders have to be fair and transparent in all life decisions we hold. Students make behaviour choices and as a local team we then need to carry out due diligence and keep the child at the heart of each hearing. The case of prison governor: with a small team I have spent many an afternoon supervising and organising centralised restorative sessions. I have read juvenile justice system documentation this year to see how restorative justice works. So maybe the career software was looking at skills more than career pathways.
I have learnt a lot about form filling, fairness, paper trails and holding the silence in highly emotionally charged meetings. The ability to have a paint pot to shield emotional leakage is handy. A professional visage at all times has been my deputy head super skill this year.
As I started my NPQH this year I took a look at Headteacher CVs. It had always fascinated me to see why some Headteachers only have 2 years as a deputy and will willingly say they knew they would make a better head so didn't stay long as a deputy. It is still early days in my deputy days and my verdict on how long it is doable is still being considered. I have had a truly challenging year as deputy head and have earned those leadership wings. I have year 2 to work on my NPQH, be inspired by shadow placements, mentoring and work on my destination. Rather than paddle upstream learning a whole new portfolio of skills next year I plan to use my NPQH projects to help me push beyond my current role boundaries.
Really interesting to read this, Julie - and well done on all you have achieved. It has been a fascinating and challenging year! You will have learnt a huge amount - I think perhaps in some ways more than I learnt in my five years of deputy headship...
ReplyDeleteTime now to reflect, consolidate, and consider how next year might be different and what you resolve to do differently - partly in response to all you have learnt and partly in the interests of sustainability. Have you read my most recent post? Can't remember whether you've commented already: https://jillberry102.blog/2018/07/30/can-less-be-more/ I know it's hard, especially in a pastoral role where, inevitably, you have to be reactive much of the time. But do some careful thinking about where you do have agency/choice.
And in the meantime REST, refresh, re-energise so that you begin the new academic year in the most positive frame of mind.
Thank you Jill. One year in a start up school has taught me lots. Your blog has reminded me that less has to be more for this role to be sustainable.
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